How to Cope With Being Used by a Boy

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Dealing with being used by a man

How to cope with being used by a man – After finding that a male has deceived you, you may feel betrayed, furious, and depressed. Whatever his reason was, it made no difference to how you felt. Instead of scheming your vengeance, devote some time to self-care. Then keep your head up and know that you can go on even if you’ve been exploited by a guy.

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Moving On After Betrayal

Avoid retaliating.

1. Avoid retaliating. While revenge may feel wonderful in the moment, it might have long-term ramifications. Hurt feelings might overwhelm you, making you bitter, furious, and aggressive, but that doesn’t mean you should respond in such. Don’t interact with him on a personal level; be the greater person and avoid hurting him.

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Maintain a safe distance

2. Maintain a safe distance. Disconnect from this individual and refuse to let him back into your life. It may be more difficult if you attended the same high school, but try to break as many links as possible with him. Don’t let him use or manipulate you any longer. Make as much space as possible.

  • Delete his phone number from your phone, delete your social media contacts with him, delete his email address, avoid areas where he could be, and don’t speak to him.
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Take notes on what you’ve learned

3. Take notes on what you’ve learned. It’s a terrible feeling to be exploited. Remind yourself that you are valued and deserving, and that no one has the right to treat you badly. Recognize that not every man is attempting to take advantage of others, and that nice men do exist. You may learn from this experience and utilize it to realize your own inner power.

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Accept responsibility for whatever role you may have played.

4. Accept responsibility for whatever role you may have played. This does not imply that you should blame yourself, but it does imply that you should be absolutely honest with yourself. Taking responsibility is not the same as accepting blame. Taking responsibility entails holding oneself responsible and accepting responsibility for any activities that may have contributed to a terrible circumstance, but it does not imply that you are guilty of all wrongdoing. It’s understandable to feel violated and as though you had nothing to do with being used (and this might be true). However, consider if you contributed any elements that made you a target. It’s OK to accept that there were factors that influenced the outcome. This gives you the opportunity to acquire perspective and learn from your errors.

  • Perhaps you were desperate for a relationship and appreciated that he paid attention to you, even if it wasn’t always favorable.
  • Perhaps you were fragile after ending a prior relationship and want a boy’s approval.
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5. Forgive. When you’re ready, choose to forgive him. Bitterness might negatively impact your future relationships and make you distrustful of other men. You may let go of your grief and anguish by forgiving him. It also permits you to let go of the part he played in your life and go on without animosity. Forgiving him does not imply that you embrace his conduct or that you forget what occurred; rather, it implies that you are allowing yourself to recover from the experience.

  • Accept what transpired between you two, then decide not to give him any more control over you or your emotions. Allow yourself to heal instead of hanging on to the pain.
  • You may never express your forgiveness to him, but keep in mind that forgiveness is for you, not for him.
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Allow yourself to relax

6. Allow yourself to relax. Let go of him and the hurt he caused you when you’re ready. Write down his name and what occurred, as well as any feelings you are experiencing. Then, in a manner that is significant to you, dispose of this document. You may either flush it down the toilet, burn it (safely), or rip it up. Writing out your grief and suffering and then discarding it is a symbolic method of demonstrating that you are ready to move on and let go of the pain.

Caring for Yourself

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Feel free to express yourself.

1. Feel free to express yourself. After a betrayal, it’s normal to feel furious, unhappy, spiteful, or rageful. Don’t bury your emotions; feel free to express them, especially if you don’t like bad emotions. You don’t have to act as if everything is OK, and you don’t have to forgive him right away.

  • Discuss what occurred and how you feel with your friends or a trustworthy adult.
  • Write down your emotions in a diary.
  • Do art, dance, or listen to music if words aren’t your thing. Art may assist you in expressing your emotions.
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Understand your fundamental human rights

2. Understand your fundamental human rights. Remind yourself of your rights and when they are being violated when you feel exploited by someone. You have the right to defend yourself and to recognize when you are being treated unfairly.

  • The right to be treated with respect is one of the most fundamental human rights.
  • Feelings and wants should be expressed.
  • Say “no” without feeling bad or having to justify your decision.
  • Make sure you’re safe.
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Don’t take anything too seriously

3. Don’t take anything too seriously. There is no problem with you. It’s not fair to put the full load of suffering and responsibility on your shoulders. Recognize that he has his own problems, some of which sadly impacted you. You may not have done anything wrong, and your greatest mistake was possibly not seeing his conduct.

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Don’t put the blame on yourself.

4. Don’t put the blame on yourself. It’s all too simple to point the finger at yourself or blame yourself for what occurred. Self-blame, on the other hand, may be a sort of emotional abuse towards oneself. Consider your connection with him and whether or not he treated you with respect. When you were with him, did you feel good about yourself? It’s probable that he didn’t treat you with respect, and you’re not entirely to fault.

  • Perhaps you have regrets or feel horrible about your choices when you reflect back. Keep in mind that you don’t know what would have occurred if you hadn’t done so, and you didn’t have the information or experience you have now.
  • Remember that blaming does not solve a problem. It just serves to exacerbate your dissatisfaction with your choices. Recognize that you can’t undo what you’ve done in the past, but you can change what you’ve done in the future.
  • Accept the fact that everyone makes errors. It’s how we learn, so be kind to yourself and remember that although it hurts now, you’ll know better next time.
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Resilience is a skill that may be learned

5. Resilience is a skill that may be learned. Being resilient is being able to work through challenges of all sizes and bounce back quickly. Get enough sleep, exercise, and fuel your body with nutritious foods to increase your resilience. Keep an open mind and look for good outcomes in all circumstances, even if they seem to be excessively bad, to increase your tolerance for unclear situations and aggravation.

  • Maintain a positive attitude by filtering negative ideas (blaming oneself, expecting the worst, perceiving everything as “all good” or “all terrible”) and focusing on positive ones (using humor, putting a positive spin on situations, seeing the positives in every situation).
  • Keeping your mind and body in a good condition will help you deal with both little and huge problems.
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Make use of self-affirmation

6. Make use of self-affirmation. You may begin to transform the negative tales you may think in your brain by utilizing self affirmations, and you will be able to cope with life’s challenges more readily. You may expand an element of yourself by using self affirmations. You may feel useless or unimportant after a traumatic circumstance, such as being exploited by a guy. Focus on your value and worth as factual words to counteract negative ideas.

  • Make a list of your strengths first. This will provide you with evidence to support whatever unfavorable self-perceptions you may have. Include things you’re proud of, successes you’ve made, and skills you have. Things include being a good friend, being creative, being nice, and being a math prodigy, to name a few. If you’re having problems, enlist the help of your loved ones.
  • When you think to yourself, “I am useless,” remember all the evidence you’ve gathered to the contrary – think about all the individuals who don’t think this way about you and appreciate you as a friend and family member. Then use affirmation to counter the negative thought: “I am a wonderful person because I have many people in my life who appreciate me.”
  • Try speaking them aloud or writing them down once you feel stronger and more certain that your affirmations are real. You may write them in a diary every day, write them on a mirror while getting dressed in the morning, or speak them out loud to yourself to start your day. Stick with it, even if it makes you feel ridiculous at first. You may be amazed at how they begin to alter your view and life as time goes on.
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Have a strong support system in place.

7. Have a strong support system in place. Keep close friends and family members who are supportive, and don’t be hesitant to contact someone if you need someone to speak to or a hug. Surround yourself with people who really care about you and who genuinely care about you in return. People in your life don’t want you to be alone in your pain. When you’re in need of help, don’t be afraid to ask for it.

  • Even if you want to be alone, force yourself to go out with others. Allow yourself to laugh and feel happy when spending time with your pals.
  • Have people that will listen and support you when you speak about your concerns.
  • When you need a listening ear or advise, talk to your parents or a trustworthy adult. This person might be a teacher, a coach, or a spiritual guide.

How do I get over being used by a man?

To get over a guy, start by limiting contact. Stop calling, texting, and emailing. Manage your emotions. Allow yourself to grieve, but remember it’s not your fault if someone did not want the same type of relationship you did.

What do you do when a guy uses you?

How to Get Rid of a Guy Who Is Using You: 8 Ways to Set Boundaries and Get Over Him
Talk to him in person.
Ask him what you two are doing.
Tell him what you’re looking for in a relationship.
Let him know it’s just not working out.
Be clear about your reasoning.
Don’t respond to any late night texts.

How do you recover from feeling used?

How to Let Go of Things from the Past
Create a positive mantra to counter the painful thoughts. …
Create physical distance. …
Do your own work. …
Practice mindfulness. …
Be gentle with yourself. …
Allow the negative emotions to flow. …
Accept that the other person may not apologize. …
Engage in self-care.

How do you tell if you’re being used by a guy?

Signs You’re Being Used
The person asks you for money, favors, or other items. …
The person imposes on you without consideration for your availability or preferences. …
The person expects you to take care of their needs. …
The person appears disinterested in you after their needs have been met.

How do you tell if someone is using you emotionally?

9 signs someone is using you in a relationship
The conversation is always about them. …
They always let you pick up the check. …
You always have to come to their rescue. …
They never say thank you. …
They’re always asking for favors. …
You start to resent them. …
Your emotional needs are never considered, let alone met.

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What to say to a guy who hurt you?

If you’re hoping to salvage the relationship with the person who has hurt you, then here are some great conversation points to add in:
“I care about you.”
“I respect you.”
“I want to fix our relationship.”
“I want to move past this.”
“I want to understand each other better.”
“I want to be open with you.”

How do you move on when you feel used?

If you are having a hard time getting over being used, talk to a therapist or a counselor to work through your emotional trauma. Seek out a professional in your area, or talk to your school or college to find out what resources are available to you. Therapy is beneficial to everyone, not just people who have been used.

How do you know a guy is emotionally attached?

He Likes Spending Time With You

He not only likes to spend time with you, but he likes spending a lot of time with you. This is one of the most obvious signs he is emotionally attached to you. He’ll use his free time, which is usually reserved for relaxation and hanging out with his friends or family, for you.

How do you know if a guy is using you for an ego boost?

If a guy likes you, he probably hasn’t been able to shut up about you to his friends. If he invites you to tag along, that’s a sign he’s interested in taking the relationship further. If he keeps bailing on you during the weekends to hit up his friends, it could be because he’s using you for an ego boost.

How do you know if you mean nothing to him?

17 Signs You Mean Nothing To Him
1) He never wants to be around you. …
3) He doesn’t share almost anything with you. …
4) He doesn’t feel protective over you. …
6) He forgets your birthday and other special occasions. …
7) He’s always eager to get away from you and your friends.

How do you know if you’re the problem in a relationship?

You don’t take responsibility for your actions.

If everything is always your partner’s fault and never your own, you’re probably being a bit biased or irrational. If you don’t easily say, “I’m sorry,” and instead blame your actions on someone else, it’s a sure-fire way to relationship disaster.

Do guys feel guilty for hurting you?

It’s not uncommon for guys to feel guilty and go out of their way to do things for you when they are remorseful about hurting you. Did he dump you? If he did, you might find signs of dumper’s remorse in his actions like drunk texting you or calling you on your birthday.

How do you become strong when someone hurts you emotionally?

They will help you develop some new techniques and keep you from reacting to new hurts in old ways.
Recognize the offense for what it is. …
Resist the tendency to defend your position. …
Give up the need to be right. …
Recognize and apologize for anything you may have done to contribute to the situation. …
Respond, don’t react.

How do you make someone feel regret?

Tell the person that what they did makes you question the way they feel about you. In some cases, this might very well be true, especially if what you’re upset about is something very serious. Either way, make sure the person you’re guilt-tripping feels like they need to prove that they still care about you.

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