How to Let a Girl Down Easy
Nobody enjoys hearing that someone they care about doesn’t feel the same way about them, but it’s sometimes the greatest thing you can do. If a lady likes you, you may disappoint her in a nice and courteous manner without causing her too much pain. You may even be able to keep your friendship. To assist you, we’ve compiled a list of ways you can easily let her down so she doesn’t get her hopes up.
Don’t put off telling her.
The longer you delay, the more difficult it will be for her to understand. Tell her that you don’t feel the same way if she expresses emotions for you or if you detect that she may want to be more than pals. If you wait too long, it will be more difficult for you to express it and for her to accept it.
- If you want to keep her as a friend, don’t play games with her or wait too long to tell her you don’t care for her romantically.
- If you have any doubts about whether or not she likes you as more than a friend, ask one of her pals.
Tell her in person if you can.
Give her the news face to face so she can process it. Telling her face to face is the most courteous approach to do so. She’ll be able to see and hear your face, which will demonstrate to her that you’re being honest with her and don’t want to hurt her emotions. It could make it easier for her to move on.
If you can’t see her in person, arrange a video chat or at the very least a phone conversation so she can hear your voice.
Say it clearly and directly.
Tell her up up that you’re not looking for a relationship. It may not be what she wants to hear, but it’s critical that you express your views and emotions openly. Keep things simple and straightforward to avoid any misunderstandings.
- You may start out pleasant and then break the news, saying something like, “I think you’re incredibly kind, but I simply don’t see us being together.”
- You may possibly say something along the lines of, “I’m not interested in a relationship right now.”
Use “I” statements.
Don’t point the finger at her. Don’t make it harder for her by pointing out any flaws or difficulties you have with her after she’s already put herself out there by telling you she loves you. Instead, utilize comments that begin with “I” rather than “you” to concentrate on yourself and your own sentiments.
For example, instead of saying “I’m not interested in you,” you may say, “I don’t want a relationship.”
Be nice to her.
Nobody enjoys being rejected, so strive to be kind in your rejection. Just because you don’t share her sentiments doesn’t mean you shouldn’t acknowledge them. Even if she becomes emotional or agitated, be courteous and compassionate when you let her down. If you don’t make it too much of a problem, she’ll probably be able to move on and you could even be able to be friends.
You might try apologizing so she knows you didn’t want to hurt her emotions, but you also didn’t want to lure her on. For example, you may say, “I’m very sorry, but I simply feel the same way,” and then add, “I hope we can still be friends.”
Give her a real reason.
Explain why things aren’t working out. “I’m simply not ready for commitment,” or “You’re too wonderful for me,” aren’t good enough explanations. Instead, explain a specific reason why you don’t believe you’re a good match for each other. She’ll appreciate the fact that you’re telling it like it is and not making up an excuse.
- “You’re good friends with my ex, and I simply don’t feel comfortable with it,” you may remark, or “I don’t believe we have same interests,” for example.
- It is not necessary for the truth to be harsh. You may say something like, “I simply don’t believe we’re compatible,” instead of “I just don’t like you.”
Be as positive as you can when you tell her.
It will seem less weird if you try to be as positive as possible. Both you and her will be uncomfortable if you tell her you don’t have emotions for her. So that she doesn’t feel any worse than she already does, be calm and cheerful. Maintain a positive attitude to assist her feel better and make the situation less unpleasant.
- After you’ve told her you don’t have romantic emotions for her, you may add something like, “I truly value our friendship, and I’m afraid a romantic relationship will damage it.”
- Don’t attempt to make a joke or be amusing if she’s furious and wants you to leave her alone.
Tell her that you still want to stay in touch.
If she’s alright with it, you can stay buddies. If she seems to be handling the news well (i.e., she isn’t enraged or distraught), tell her you hope you can continue communicate and hang together. Let her know you still want to spend time with her and become friends, particularly if you have shared acquaintances and will see one other often.
- Something along the lines of, “I realize it’s a bummer, but I’m hoping we can still get together. I value our connection, but I understand if you need some space.”
- It may be unpleasant at first, but things will ultimately return to normal, and you will be able to spend time with each other without feeling uneasy.
End with something that will make her smile.
She could feel better with a hug or an inside joke. She’ll understandably be wounded and unhappy once you tell her how you feel. Avoid ending the discussion on a sour note or leaving her alone by walking away. Instead, provide a hug as a kind of comfort. Try to make her laugh if you both have a lot of inside jokes. Make every effort to bring the situation to a favorable conclusion.
- If you’re both lovers of The Office, for example, you might say something along the lines of “I am eager to be wounded again” or “Oh how the turntables.”
- If she’s genuinely unhappy, it’s probably better if you give her some space.
Give her space after you tell her.
Before you hang out with her, give it at least a week. Allow her to process the news emotionally. Don’t shun her or ignore her, but let her at least a week to recover. If she’s comfortable, you may spend time with her after that, and things may return to as they were before she developed affections for you.
Keep in mind that she could not feel at ease in your presence. Respect her desires and give her space if this is the case.
Act like everything is fine when you see her.
Make things as easy as possible for her. Try chatting to her the same way you did before you informed her you didn’t care for her romantically. You may be able to resume your friendship with her in the future.
Don’t pursue the matter if she doesn’t want to be near you. Allow her the space she needs.
Avoid hooking up with her.
Don’t raise her expectations after you’ve disappointed her. Kissing, flirting, or hooking up with her might throw her off, particularly if you’ve just informed her you don’t have romantic feelings for her. However, if you begin to develop a strong attraction to her, let her know! Just don’t hook up with her and then claim you don’t want to be with her again.
Send a text after a first date that didn’t go well.
Send her a quick letter to let her know you’re not interested in going on another date. You may send a text to tell her how you feel if you haven’t spent much time with her or if you were set up on a date and things didn’t appear to be going anywhere. Simply send a short, straightforward text that expresses your disinterest in a romantic connection while being courteous.
For example, let’s say you send her something like, “Hey, I had a fantastic time, but I don’t believe we have much in common,” or “Hello! Thank you for supper, but I don’t believe we have much chemistry.”
Don’t ghost her.
Respect her sentiments and inform her that the relationship is finished. It could be tempting to just stop talking to her or ignore her completely. However, it might be very hurtful to her sentiments and is just not the appropriate thing to do. Tell her if she likes you but you don’t feel the same way. She may not like it at first, but if you’re being truthful, she’ll ultimately accept it.
If you ghost her, you may come off as a jerk, particularly if you have shared acquaintances.